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Old Apr 01, 2016, 12:48 PM
Zbeara Zbeara is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2016
Location: Arizona
Posts: 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Onward2wards View Post
I had a good start in life. Looking back at my early years, I remember my parents acting like cognitive behavioral therapists - they didn't ever say "do this because I'm the parent", they would challenge me to think things through rationally and try to reach me on my own developmental level. I had very supportive parents who taught me about empathy, boundaries, personal responsibility, all that good stuff. They took parenting very seriously. About the only problem I had with my family was, they could sometimes go from calm and reasonable to loud ranting if they thought I was doing something seriously wrong. Calm, calm ... BOOM!

My family moved several times - eventually to a different country - and I experienced being the slightly shy kid who caught the attention of every bully on the block, it seemed. I think being teased and bullied so much eventually caused me to develop social phobia and self worth issues. I did have friends, though.

I remember having good school teachers overall, but also encountered some teachers who seemed to think shaming kids in front of their friends is an ideal way to get a reasonable, compliant child. I disagree. I suspect I have some problems today because of those experiences - seeing it and experiencing it. Maybe that's partly why I am so protective of people to this day - can't tolerate seeing people put down by others.

My closest, earliest friend was literally the girl next door. We were pretty much inseparable. But I had to move. I sometimes suspect that maybe, on some level, I've been trying to find her ever since ... ?
Yeah, even with a good family, society in general can be very difficult but I'm so glad that you had a good home life I wish my family could have been more like that. The reason it was so hard for me to admit that my family had problems though was because they reeeally wanted to be like that. Moving a lot can be difficult too though. I've been doing a lot better recently, despite what has happened. Moving away from it all has made a huge difference. Fortunately, I have learned good social skills so the only thing holding me back was my situation.
Hugs from:
avlady, bipolar angel