I also have sexual issues resulting from repeated assaults as a young teen. My best suggestion would be to see if you can find a counselor in your area who deals with sexual assault recovery/sexual dysfunctions. I have a feeling these are very closely related unfortunately.
Sexual assault recovery is one of my therapist's main interests. She also does couples and individual sexual dysfunction counseling as well. Right now I am in the recovery mode. But she is someone I can discuss any shameful or embarrassing topics. She is very matter of fact about sex, the mechanics
And the emotion.
You might benefit from a counselor you could build a good trust with and have a positive therapeutic relationship.
I wonder if I will ever find someone irresistible that I want to have sex with. I haven't met that person yet. I do wonder sometimes if they even exist.