Been doing well but ate a brownie yesterday . I thought I had kind of given myself permission but chocolate is my really most addictive food. The sugar and chocolate together kind of make me feel dizzy. Plus I suffer from after quilt that is right off the charts. I beat myself up with the thoughts. I have tried to tell myself it is okay. I stopped and threw the leftover bit of brownie away. But I am torturing myself anyway. Only somebody who knows about addiction would understand that when I threw it away I made sure it would be destroyed. It is but I am treating myself badly anyway because I think I can not stop once I have gotten started but believe me there is none around. I only got one in the first place! If I was not doing this I would say. Okay! You stopped! You did find pleasure in the bites you had until it started to negatively effect you but the truth is I am like an alcoholic that decided to have just a little drink. The after quilt is about the fear of wanting more and more and not stopping. This addiction is real and painful to me and this is the first time I have realized that it is like being an alcoholic who just went off the wagon.