In regards to remembering your FIL at the wedding... Are you doing a mother-son dance? If so, you could always use music your FIL liked for the dance. Then it's sort of a family moment for them.

When it comes to getting married, anxiety is pretty par for the course. I was a terrible wreck two nights before my wedding. I just cried and cried to my mother, and this was after I had been dating the guy for 7 years, so it wasn't like I didn't want to marry him. It just boils down to the fact that change is scary, even good change.

I do want to point out that I think it's interesting that you define your relationship with your fiance as being rocky, when the last rocky patch was over three years ago and was clearly based on circumstances. Why do you think of your relationship as being rocky when you've been pretty solid the last three years?