I only feel it toward my mother. With that it's like burning rage. I don't feel angry ever, at any other time. A guy I work with ended up being fired for sexually harassing me and threatening me, and all I felt was guilt. I got hurt horribly by an unethical ex-therapist and all I felt was self-blame, confusion, guilt. I wish I could feel angry, I think it's important for self-protection. I know a lot of people diagnosed with BPD have anger issues, and I don't meet the diagnostic criteria but I have many strong traits of it, I've always wondered if this was just the flip side of the coin.

She actually said about the ex-therapist that she wished she could call her and tell her how badly it messed me up because it made her so angry for me. She also apogized afterward and said it might have been unprofessional but she lost her temper when she heard. I actually appreciated it because I was confused about whether it was my fault or not.