I had a very serious take it or leave it (preferably leave it) attitude toward sex during my 20's. Even when a partner made me feel sensual or sexy, I never outwardly wanted sex. For the longest time and even today I don't initiate, which has been a point of contention in my current relationship.

Well, I have not felt sensual or sexy for maybe six years and I long for that as well as (to my surprise) sex. I have voiced these issues periodically with my partner since I recognized them. I can't seem to get over it on my end, and beyond sharing with him how I feel, I don't have any suggestions to give him either. Plus he gets defensive and accuses me of not being attracted to him anymore, and I don't know what to say. I find him handsome and I always have. Despite that, I feel really uncomfortable when he initiates and then I end up feeling empty or used afterward. Only recently did I recognize that my attitude of sexual neutrality is probably rooted in "feeling used," and definitely preceded this relationship.

I agree with emijec that you might be repulsed by sex right now because you are associating it with drug use. In a similar way, I associated much of my sexual experience with sacrifice. I misinterpreted my disinterest as not having a need for sex. I guess all I can suggest is paying attention to your feelings without being judgmental. It's not easy and took me ten years to recognize a potential problem because I kept opting for avoidance. In the end your feeling may just be a result of a medication you're on or really any number of other things you haven't considered, but an open mind and a curious awareness should help you figure out what you want and how to get there.

Take care, CognitoSchiz1989!