Well its been 5 weeks and T resumes tomorrow. How do I feel? Well during the 5 week break I've allowed my fantasys of destroying T to be. They brought a certain amount of satisfaction. I dont know why, its like the power balance was evened up a bit by my "rejection" of T.

Then I've daydreamed of the first few moments in "our" room and how wonderful it will feel to have her support again.

I am swinging inside between pleasure and pain. I think I want to ask her what would she do if I threw one of her cushions at her?

Then I want to ask her why wasn't she there for me for the past 5 weeks? But then that reminds me of the relationship. Shes a T and can do what she wants. It suddenly seems silly to think I should hold that much control over her, that she has to be there for me all of the time.

I mean its not her total responsibilty is it? Now that feels odd saying that. That I'm not her total responsibilty. Wow, how odd is that.

Well tomorrow will be here soon enought.