So so sorry Reizo. I am happy, though, that you are sharing your experiences and thoughts-- many of us find that helpful. You are being very introspective which is enviable and quite mature for someone who is going through a sudden breakup. I agree with the other responders, and you must keep in mind that now you have all of the opportunity in the world for growth and true happiness once you have allowed yourself to grieve in your way.

I am similar in age, similarly codependent (I am the +1), suffer similar sexual issues, and I have similar confusion about my future. My partner like you claims that I am his world but chooses to express dissatisfaction with work, life, etc rather than how much he cares about me. I am sorry that your girlfriend did not communicate this concern to allow you the opportunity to change. However, I am not sure if it's worse to be given the opportunity to change and instead remain in the codependent comfort zone than not be offered that chance at all. It seems like maybe she is considering the second chance for a changed relationship from what you wrote in your reply. I would like to ask about the communication between you two, because if it was not great before then the second chance will likely land you both in unhappiness again unless you can communicate well and work together to create the change that both of you deserve and desire. Communication is very foreign to me, but it is something that I long for and that I am trying to work on.

Take care Reizo! Thank you for your thoughtful writing. I hope that you are healing.