ii think that could definitely be one reason. I dated a guy who said he was tired of not meeting "quality people"... he set such high standards that no one could meet, judge and criticized others for it. I think it was his defense mechanism for getting hurt.. he'd turn everything into a moralistic battle e.g. not saying goodbye at the end of a call, texting after a certain hour, being late (like literally one time we had dinner with his friends at 5, he wanted to leave at 4:30 and I kid you not, got mad bc it was 4:31 and I was still putting hairspray on my hair, I was ready by 4:32). so, when he complains that I disrespected him, that I'm selfish for being late, that I deeply embarrassed him in front of his friends... I gear up my defense mechanism, he calls my defense being selfish. maybe I was.. for being late that way... at the end of that I said I upset you, it's going to be awkward now, go ahead, nope he made me go and halfway changed his mind after I said if I disappoint you find someone who makes you happy and dropped me back to my car. I got dumped 3 weeks after that. .. that's t3 weeks today. it sucks

but in essence, built up unrealistic expectations, fear of getting hurt, can alienate people. at the same time bad women in his past can hurt the current relationship with a good person now. there are bad people out there , there are good people. I sometimes wonder if bc we have lived with depression that we just have a negative outlook. time and time again Before I get dumped 3 guys have said I'm negative- negative outlook, I get defensive and I take things personally.

how do you know if you're the problem or the other person? how do you change your perspective on the opposite sex when you've been hurt by them? it's not as easy to just say, stop focusing on the wrong person or negative view . how do you recondition?