I'm in a similar spot. I did a lot of research in the years when nothing much was working and I like the theory of Heinz Kohut and especially his idea of the three poles/functions on which the development of a sense of self depend. But how to actually use those ideas? My current T doesn't know much about Kohut although she did go to see a consultant when we were stuck the last time. I'm also in the midst of a huge negative transference, I think. I had dissociated from a lot of negativity and that may just be reintegrating. So maybe that really means that if/when I'm done with this, then I really will be done. Time will tell.