I'm so sorry that you are going through all of this, and the embarrassment, and being yelled at, and for God's sake, the woman took pictures! I think she has more to be embarrassed about than you. It's really upsetting to be told that you did blame-worthy things that you don't remember. I think her taking pictures of you is despicable and shows an intent to cause you pain. Maybe you said the thing she claims you said, but maybe you didn't. It sounds like you are feeling a lot of distress right now, so becoming more settled is a priority. Sometimes I dunk my head in a bowlful of ice water, and hold my breath as long as I'm able when I can't settle physically or emotionally. That's a DBT distress tolerance body hack skill I use. If it was a blackout for real, it could be a stress response as your pdoc said. Stress can be dealt with. If you brought your bf to your pdoc appointment, would he hear something that would make him a better support for you? I think he could step up and deal better.