no this not about sui or hurting anyone ... I put it as a trigger because of the nature of my quandry ...

My new T demanded I be 100% complient with my pdoc ... ok ...I understand that ... simple enough ... do what he says .. take what he gives me ...

Last week I had a side effect from my trazadone ... dizzyness ...
so my pdoc dropped me from 150mg to 50mg ... so I did... yes I got very sick in my gi track ...

my T on hearing this said he should have stepped me down at 100 then 50 .... she said it is my body and I have the right to deside what I take ... and the treatment I will accept ...

My take on this is maybe being complient is not always following the pdoc's decisions but mearly informing him of my decisions ... to use him as a guideline or even blindly follow him if I am out of control ...

But do I dare follow my own path ... and just keep him in the loop , so to speak , of what I am doing ...

I really feel he would drop me in a minute if I did ... so that is why I have always told him what he wanted to hear ... that tigger was being a good littlle boy ...

my T insists I be totally honest with all my medical team at all times ... so my quandry ...

I understand when your "messed up" maybe doing all your told is the best way to go ...but I am very cleared headed at the time being ... and I do feel I am the best person to make decisions what I put in my body ....

So I have accepted the probablity that I will shortly be looking for a new pdoc ...

is complient blindly following any and all your asked to do ....

or is complient doing (understanding there are times you may not be the best judge of that) , what you feel is right for you ...

and bearing the consequences of telling "all" your doing ....

.. tigger ....