Thank you for your replies I also forgot to mention that no doc ever gave me any diagnosis apart from panic disorder and GAD, but I've stopped going go psychiatrist few years ago. Health services are generally pretty bad here.

Okay, so I wanted to finish the story.

Age 20- 21

I did graduate high school. Barely, because of my poor Math skills. Because of this I had to take my finals (which are totally different here than in other countries) a year later than most of my peers. I passed my Advanced English, Polish, Philosophy and Biology very well, better than most people. I didn't pass Maths, however. And you NEED to score at least 30% to be able to go to uni. Without passing this subject all of my scores from other subjects will be erased in 2018 and I will have to take everything again. I already tried to pass it three times but I'm totally Math-blind. So, everyone apart form me, even the most lazy and stupid people, had passed their tests and went to uni two years ago. I felt really bad about it.

At the same time I was writing my finals, I started my first job. I worked for a year in a local shop, then they had to fire me due to financial cuts (It's hard to explain, we have that government system due to which people are hired for a certain amount of time and for that time the employer doesn't have to pay his worker, then he fires him and gets another worker for free...It's complicated).
I liked that job, even though I got easily frustrated with people (I managed to hold back my anger) and everything. Yet, I could sit anytime, go for a smoke or a coffee whenever I wanted, my boss was okay. I was sad and angry they had to fire me. It happened on January this year.

Another thing I was doing was to finally past my driving test. It was the most difficult thing of all. Here in PL we have one the most expensive and difficult driving exams. I've spent all of the money I've earned in 6 months. Lots of money. All of the people I've known already had they driving permits.
I had two courses, each lasted for about three months. At the first one they told me I appear to have ADD because my motor skills, multitasking skills, concentration and understanding were so bad. Indeed, I was always the clumsy one, bad at sports, I still cannot dance or swim. However, it upset me very much because I've heard all of my life that I need "a longer amount of time" to get anything. I was sick of that. So I've changed courses and this time I had that disgusting, perverted old driving instructor, yet he was the best one in town at teaching. Honestly, he was obsessed with me and I had to threat him with the police once, fortunately it kinda worked.
I passed at my 8th attempt, but only because I happened to have that easy-going examiner at that attempt.
I dreamed of driving a car like all the people I've known, I read so much about being a good driver, about the cars, almost became a self called expert, yet after getting a licence, I never managed to trust myself enough to drive on my own. I've stopped driving at all.

2015 was a good year because I kept my routine, did everything I planned, yet I ended up feeling sad, worthless and worse than anyone else.

And, yes, relationships...I've hurt some of my male friends because of my romantic delusions and obsessions about them, I did embarass myself a few times because of that, mostly in 2014, yet I cut myself off people because I was ashamed of some things I did. And when I obsessed about someone, and there was alcohol present, I was becoming clingy, loud, totally weird, laugh at them and offended them at some point, when my expectations weren't met...there was this boy, who would also get really hypersexual after drinking and I did some weird stuff with him (like getting naked together in a bath in a friends house at a party, with people watching because the door happened to be broken...)
Then I would get frustrated with him, talked about him behind his back...nah.

After 2014, I cut nearly everyone off, as I said. Stopped drinking, going to parties, because I couldn't get along with others, I happened to get everything wrong, misunderstand lot of stuff, it was generally overwhelming.