Our minds work 24/7. Thus if we don't at least distract our thoughts, or at best direct them, they will lead us astray. You mentioned that you're alone and isolated. Have you tried to do something about it without thinking that you're misunderstood ALL the time, or about the meaning of being connected or about your place in the universe or multiverse? To just be there around people without any prerequisite or purpose. You don't have to meditate. Most people don't. I don't, and I won't.

By the way, do/did you study philosophy by any chance?