I would take all meds. They don't just keep you stable the moment you take them but also allow your brain to repair (and it needs to be repaired—definitely with SZA/BP). So it matters not whether you're stable now and you have a lot of catching up to do, so take them.
Clinicians can monitor you, but you might do that yourself by looking at your energy/activity level. Make daily notes of an objective type of measure. Weight loss, the number of steps you take, words per minute, how much you ate (together with weight), heart rate: anything.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me.
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