Thanks for sharing all that helped.

Rainbow-your post spoke to me the most. I was trying to explain to my T last week about positive affirmations, couldn't think of examples of what that would look like, and he mocked me in a strong sarcastic voice. It intensified the already existing shame.

I sough the therapy relationship for healing. All the reprogramming and stuff sounds ideal in theory, and I can see how it works for some, but I just don't have the base from which to build on. There have been no loving experiences in childhood, so there is nothing to build on.

Everything seems so bleak-I need someone to show me what the other world is like. What it could be like. Showing me positive things about myself, giving me the hope and compassion I lack until I can get there myself.

I'm looking for another therapist to help me end this relationship, and then i'm going to quit therapy altogether. Ending this relationship feels so traumatic to me, I can't go through this again.