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Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow
When I was in therapy in college I couldn't talk to my therapist much at all. I wrote everything into a 5 or 7 page document each week and he read it to himself and we talked about it. It wasn't traditional but it worked for me.
Now I talk in therapy and can usually tell my therapist everything (after 10 years together). But when there is something I can't say I go back to writing. Last year I had to confront him about something he was doing and I was terrified but the letter format worked for us.
When I was very, very, very sick this fall and couldn't communicate in any way he had me draw pictures and that was very helpful. I was so hopeless and suicidal and drawing got those feelings out and helped him know what I really felt instead of guessing.
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Yeah, writing might be a good option for me. Sometimes I can't say what I want to say, either because I'm nervous or because I don't know how to say it. Thanks for the idea.
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Originally Posted by Icare dixit
I would absolutely mention the social anxiety. From quite some posts you wrote I read how much you struggle and this is really something that can and "should" be fixed (I deliberately choose not too visit friends too often and I am very much comfortable with isolation, but I have no social anxiety even though I had during my first yearslong severe depression and years after that). I had to discover all the things to cope by myself, but I am sure a therapist can really help you in no-time (relatively speaking). It also helps you to rise from depression much quicker.
The "plans" I wouldn't talk about, personally, but if not telling might endanger you any time in the future, I would just be open, also mentioning the importance of the "plans" for you. The (maybe delusional) importance is what matters most.
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Yeah, I have no one in my life to support me through rough times. My parents don't believe in mental illness, and I really don't have any friends. So, when I'm depressed, I typically feel alone and unwanted, which seems to "encourage" the negative thoughts and makes me suicidal.
I'm sure that fixing my social anxiety will help with depression a lot.
And yeah... I don't really want to talk about my "plans", but at the same time, I want to get help. I feel like i'll ultimately carry out one of my "plans" if I don't say something.
I essentially have 1 specific plan that keeps coming up every time I become suicidal. The more I think of it, the more appealing it seems. That's basically the problem.