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You are in need. The illness doesn't go away just because you have no current symptoms. It's good for Pdocs to see you relatively stable so they can tell when your not stable. It sound more like you don't want to go and admit you haven't been taking your meds. Pdocs see that all the time and are used to it.
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Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann
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