No wonder it sounded familiar..... I had I think 4 books at B+N that I took to the couch and had my coffee while browsing through them, and I kept going back to this one, and decided it was best for me...!! Never even remembered I pulled it up from your link and browsed the inside of it.....hate my memory these days!!

I woked alittle more with Mickey tonight, she drew another picture, I asked her what would make her happy, she told me she wanted to not hurt anymore, that I had to stop hurting us, and that she wants to be able to laugh and play agian. I asked her to draw a picture of her if she was happy, she drew one of her outside on a swing playing, with the sun out. She told me I left her in a dark place, she doesn't like it. I asked her if she ever plays now, NO........all her toys were taken away.........so I told her I would get her a toy, and asked her what she wanted, she said a friend, and soft cuddly friend....so I am going to go shopping tomorrow......I am exhausted........she asked me to pinky swear I would never leave her alone again.......I did, and I did remember this time to ask her how old she is. She is 7........I feel good about her talking to me, and me being able to connect with her, but sad because of what I have done to her.

I am so nervous about Wednesday's appt, I know alot of this is my issue, something else I have to work on.....but until I talk to him, I have this hole inside of me, thinking I am going to lose the one person that I can tell everything to, and is always there to help me........or was always there, to help me.........he went from almost daily contact to nothing.......zip......few brief emails here, last one was he said he was "pleased to hear I am working on the inner child and understanding" my other T, would of said it "is about freakin time"........jokinly but he would of made me smile........so now I am refering him to my T and the other T because I don't know the one that has come out over the past 2 weeks........