...that's what I should do. Just crawl into a hole and throw dirt over myself. But, instead I think I will spend the whole morning in bed, that is if I stay up most of the night, which is not unusual...my spinal fusion doesn't care for me staying in bed too long...so I have to stay up most of the night in order to stay in bed during the daytime, while the sun is shining.

I put enough people out of their misery for having me around. My daughter won't have to repeat herself all the time (losing my hearing, dxd last year), I won't miss the before-12noon window to call Friday for a ride on Monday (missed it by 6 minutes last Friday...had to rearrange the week with others this effected), I won't have to "burden" my daughter with yet another 10 mile trip to take me home. No one will have to comment about how flat and unemotional I am these days, or how I don't know how to relax, or I hardly laugh at all since my surgery in June. It all just doesn't seem worth the effort. Why bother. Also, won't have to spend time feeling paranoid about other people in my PD community. That is a good label for me right now...Paranoid.

I stopped taking the Keppra when I ran out a month ago. Now that people know I hear, "You did what?" It was very much known that I only had a 30-days supply with NO refills. It's not like I will have another event. I don't intend to have my brain swell from surgery again anytime soon.