hey there. i didn't intend for you to be triggered by my suggesting that your response to anxiety might result in him burning out. i was trying to convey that your response to anxiety might well indicate that you need to develop some self-soothing skills such that you can keep yourself safe in triggering situations. i guess that that is something that he has learned from this situation too. when he said that he didn't think that his failure to return a call would result in unbearable anxiety.

have you heard of DBT at all? the dbt skills training is focused around helping people develop skills of mindfulness meditation / self soothing, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. while DBT skills are traditionally taught in a group therapy setting one can learn them in individual therapy and / or by oneself. has he talked about contracting not to self harm at all?