Do you (ever) feel in control when you are stable, or are you always more or less anxious or wary, overly cautious, about possible instability?
Does that anxiety or caution ever make it "impossible" for you to do the things you have/want to do? If so, is any irritability related to it, as far as you know?
Only when being on meds and supplements do I feel in control and relatively free, but supplements are really necessary to give me that true feeling of freedom and control (it could be a placebo effect, but it is not very likely).
I am still unsure about what dose of antipsychotic is best: too much can give me such a cautious demeanour, but not enough can make me too delusional.
What has helped you to deal with any such issues, if you have them?
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me.
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