I think it's somewhat getting out of control now: The last couple of days I had ongoing panic attacks in nearly any waking moment.
Before my girlfriend/ex actually spured (false?) hope, I was coping much better. Since then, this indecisiveness is destroying me. I'm trapped in thought patterns about "could-have's" and "might-be's" that I have actually managed to cast off in the first week.
If she truly values me, why would she do this to me?

I have promised - to myself and to her - to maintain *no contact*. Every day I battle very hard to keep that up.
Will it help me if I just approach her and ask her to take a more decisive stand to end the relationship? Every part of my being opposes that idea, latching on the hope that everything may work out and I'm destroying this last chance.

I'm also trying to get professional help, as my problems pertain to much more than just an ending relationship. I just hope the process can be sped up; waiting lists are endless.