Well done, cryingontheinside!
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at the same time I feel sad. I don't know why I feel sad.
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A hard part about breaking addictions is when there is some sort of socializing or human connection involved with using. If you are lonely you might be wishing for a connection with your neighbor and feel sad because saying no to drugs also means saying no to any such connection.
Think about what you hoped to get when you relapsed with him. By saying no to drugs, you are also saying no to the possibility of having what you hoped to get.
(((((cryingontheinside)))))