Sometimes I feel like my moods are a "placebo effect". (Maybe "placebo" isn't the right word, but I think you'll understand what I mean when you read my post.)

Does anyone else feel this way?

For example, my pdoc said I became manic on Lexapro. Did I really become manic, or did I think I was manic because I was told it could make me manic?

Sometimes I think I get hit with a hard depression. Am I actually depressed, or do I think I'm depressed and therefore subconsciously act depressed even though I'm not?

Other times I get dysphoric mania. Is it really dysphoric mania, or am I subconsciously making myself angry because I think I'm dysphoric?

I guess it's hard for me to cope with the diagnosis sometimes. I often go back and forth.