Thanks guys, for the responses.

Im struggling - looking back on this day. It feels still very raw, and shocking - But at the same time its so foggy - its hard to believe it actually happened.

I've tried really hard to get back on top. Im functioning I guess ok. But inside Im really shaken by what happened. By what I almost did.

You guys responding now - its made such a big difference. THANK YOU. Im sorry Im not replying to each of you properly. Theres plenty I want to say but this is so hard and I can't think to get my words out.

Anglo - I can't begin to tell you how much your response meant to me. Im crying again now re-reading it. You said so much that I really needed to hear.

To bring you up to date- I have seen T twice since that day. Things are difficult between us at the moment, and everything in me wants to just give up, but I know I need help and so Im trying to persevere.