Hi Pdoc,

I'm nervous to see you tomorrow. It would be the last time. I wish I said last time could be the last time instead of next time. But it was so sudden. I knew it would end soon, but I rather hear that next time will be the last time. That way I can kind of prepare myself for it. It just feels better for me.

But now, after what has happen... I don't want to talk about it to you. I wish my mum hadn't called you. I'm an adult. I should handle these things myself. I want to. My parents had their chance when I was younger.
I don't tell you a lot. Actually I just answer your questions, that is it. I don't seen the point in telling you more, because you are only for meds. My mum told you some things on the phone, some things I haven't told you. Some of those she had wrong, what she sees and how she interpretate that. But she doesn't know what I feel and she doesn't know how bad I felt last year, before I got meds that worked. And she also forget stuff or get things the wrong way. Sometimes I have to tell my parents a 100 times the same thing over and over. Sometimes I don't bother correcting them.

I haven't lied to you. I'm afraid you'll think that. I just kept some things to myself. And some things I didn't brother telling you because we ate almost done. Like getting a new T. And starting college in September (maybe).

Tomorrow. I don't know if I can tell you that. I'm having a hard time talking to you because I still like you and I get nervous around you. Also, you're a man and a psychiatrist and I shouldn't trust you. But I kind of do. And that's bad.

I'm thinking about not going. I don't want to go, but I have to go.