Why does it always come back to that for you? It makes you sound really arrogant, in addition to being absolute nonsense. Maybe what you are saying is what eden wants to hear. That doesn't mean what you are saying is actually helpful.

I'm sorry, eden. I really am. But I am not in this to tell you what you wish to hear, because I don't agree with the voices in your head and I am afraid that they are going to destroy you. Sometimes, when we are experiencing these things, it is difficult for us to think rationally. I have been irrational many times in my life during a mood episode, and what I needed in those situations was for someone to intervene.

I'm not here to preach at you, I am just trying to provide some perspective by sharing my own experiences. Every person is unique, and our situations are very different, but we do have some things in common.

I found ways to "deal with" my mood swings. I got used to the depression, and I got used to being yelled at and having various negative accusations thrown at me. I learned how to use my self-hatred in productive ways. I used feelings of guilt to keep going when all I wanted to do was lie down and wait for death. This was my life, and when I was finally faced with the possibility of changing all of that, I found it inconceivable and it actually scared me, because the misery of bipolar disorder was all I had ever known. In fact, I am still struggling with it, but I now accept, at the age of 27, that just because I have gotten used to something that doesn't make it okay.

And even though I now know rationally that the way I live my life is destructive, there is still a force within me that fights against changing my life for the better. There is still a part of me that wants to self-sabotage and thinks I'm supposed to fail. I am fighting a constant battle with that part of myself, but it is not as powerful as it used to be. I guess that accepting failure and abusing myself have been my coping mechanisms, how I adapted to get through life - it was easier to join those who verbally abused me than to fight against them, and it was easier to accept that I was a failure than to claim otherwise. It was easier to set myself up for failure than to try and inevitably fail because I wasn't good enough (which was how I came to see myself). But those "coping mechanisms" are no longer useful for me. They need to be discarded, because now I know better and I definitely don't need them anymore. They aren't "protecting" me, they're harming me.

Maybe the demons and the others were protecting you from something in the past, but they don't seem to anymore. Instead it sounds like they are causing you harm, and no one needs a destructive force like that. You deserve to be free from this pain, and I hope you will realise that some day.