Hi. I'm not sure if this is the right place to post, but I'll give it my best shot anyways. One thing, if anyone actually replies to this please don't say anything mean, because I get really nervous making posts in forums.

Lately I've been wondering about a voice in the back of my head. For about seven months he's been there, evolving from the occasional shut-up in reply to my thoughts, to a fully unique individual. For most of this time I figured that even if I didn't control or think what he said, the fact that he was inside my head made him my own voice. When I realized with full comprehension that I didn't have anything to do with any willing him into existance myself, I decided I needed to tell someone.

I'm currently in treatment for mild OCD, and anxiety problems. I've tried telling my therapist about this in the form of a written copy of one of our conversations [between me and him], but no one beleives me. Now that I'm sure that my T is in on the plot to make my life miserable, I don't know what to do. And so I am attempting to reach out here.

My parents have been attempting to poison my food lately. I can hear them whispering conversations in the other room about me when they don't know I'm there. In every conversation, every argument, there is no room to try and say anything of my own that matters too them. I always seem to need to change. Even they're compliments are fake. I've made it very clear about the things I need to do to keep my life a little bit organized and relaxing, and I am constantly denied. Once the anxiety came up as an issue to them, they've started blaming everything I do they don't like as being needed to change because it's "a part of something you need to work on with your OCD". They take everything personal I've ever told them and make it into a cryptic or hurtful remark later. I can see it in their eyes, the way they look at me. I don't trust them, I can't trust anyone.
Even my friends are in on it now.

It sort of seems like that voice, him, is the only person on my side. But he says terrible things to me. In the begining it was remarks about how I didn't deserve to exist, as such a terrible person. Then it was looking at the worthlesseness of others, and now plotting the demise of the world. And in-between all of this would be the cycle of him telling me that no one would care, or beleive me, and if they did, they would send me away to some instution because I was insane, to telling me why he existed, how it was fault, to reassuring me that he was always on my side and to never betray him by telling anyone. When he threatened to hurt me [physically], I was scared that he could actually do it. The worst part is, I was actually going along with these schemes, sort of enjoying the idea of hurting people in the future. I don't know what to do with myself, and all these thoughts inside my head.

I can't beleive I posted this. I hope that I won't regret it. Please, someone out there, tell me where to start.

Thank-you.