i didn't really know where to put this but here goes. yesterday i gave myself a buzz cut with the #7 attachment on my husband's electric hair cutter. i don't even know why, other than i am mentally exhausted from obsessing over my hair and i just wanted to maybe shock myself into stopping once and for all.

yesterday i went back and forth loving it and hating it and wearing a knit hat. i was nervous about my husband seeing it. i didn't think he would like it, but he thought my pixie cut was okay so I didn't know how far I could go. When he got home from work and I took off my hat his reaction was "oh my God" so I put the hat on and haven't taken it off since.

I really hope i can leave it alone now. I love wearing the hat it makes me feel calmer. if i have a hat on anyway maybe i can forget about my hair and it will grow since it is under a hat anyway.

i am so sick of writing/thinking/talking about my hair. this has been going on for almost a year now. have therapy this afternoon and hope maybe she can help me put this in perspective and stop it. there are so many better ways i can use the energy.

i'm sure no one wants to hear about it anymore anyway, most of all me. my plan is to keep it covered with a hat like i keep my feet in socks all the time and hopefully one day i will manage to think of it no more than i would my foot lol. wash it in the shower and then back to covering it up.

wasn't even gonna talk about it here. but i don't like keeping secrets here on pc i write about just about everything might as well this. maybe other women can relate, maybe not. that is my story.