I have known for years that my daughters were molested when they were 5 by a 12 year old girl. It has caused issues with one of them. I knew that my son was horribly bullied and assaulted at a public school he spent a brief time at and recognized panic attacks in him when this happened. He was hospitalized for suicidal ideation right after this happened. He was 13. He told me tonight that he was molested by foster children and other stuff he didn't wish to speak of. I told him that I was so sorry this had happened to him and that all I ever wanted to do was protect him. He said he knew that and I was not to feel badly for what happened to him. Yeah-right. I told him that if he ever wanted to give me more information about what had happened I won't freak and would like to hear it. I am reacting with sadness and pain. I failed miserably at this parenting stuff. Couldn't even protect my babies. He is 20. So many signs back then, where was I? Thinking I was overreacting because of my own history. It makes me ill. My beautiful baby boy. I hope he talks to me more about it. Not sure I should ask. My heart is broken and I think I want to stay in bed forever. This just stinks. He is now diagnosed with chronic ptsd and bipolar. Oh boy. What made me think I could have safe and healthy kids? I swear to god my life is a freakin fiction on t.v. and I will learn I am just a t.v. character. My youngest has been in the middle of an ocd/ anxiety flareup for weeks but today she sees the doc and doc says she's doing better lets not change anything. I just want to start over. Can't I turn back time and raise my babies again? I want to scream. When will this painful nosense end/ One loss after another after tragedy. It has to end somewhere. I didn't protect my children.