Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobbyj
I don't know much about personality disorders other than the basics, but just wanted to say i heavily relate with that feeling of giving yourself problems in order to have a challenge to overcome. In school I would not do homework or study and still did decent with the mindset of "well i did this well without trying, imagine if i did try", later on i've had that mindset while using drugs and in all sorts of situations. My therapist said it comes from a fear of failure which i can definitely agree with. I can just go oh well if i failed that test i wasn't even at class half the time! Rather than putting in effort and still failing which would hurt my ego.
Anyway Just wanted to comment, thought that was interesting. Not sure where that trait would fall under.
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Just wanted to say I so very much relate to your story.
You could, depending on the exact cause which might still be largely subconscious, probably/possibly categorise that as a borderline personality trait. But again, it depends on the exact "reasons" behind your behaviour. Having BP just makes it more likely the cause might be found by analysing it from that categorical perspective.
It may be best described as fear for not knowing the reason for failure. That hurts more: it is something internal/essential/emotional and too hard to express or correctly rationalise/analyse. But both can be done. Again, the actual reasons could be different in your case. But just fear for failure may lead to failure, but just due to anxiety, not "deliberate" actions.
