I'm looking for resources or experience with this.

I'm trying to understand self-sabotage. I've been reading about it on the internet, for all the good that does, and all the articles talk about things like procrastination and overeating and stuff that basically everyone does. They always blame low self-esteem and society.

My friend is many steps beyond that. She has stage 4 cancer, and she keeps making decision after decision to sabotage her own health and negate her treatments. This isn't just low self-esteem, it's practically a death wish. If I say that to her she's going to spiral.

I don't figure I can help her since she's in therapy already, I'm just trying to get a grip on it. She told me ages ago that she self-sabotages but I can't understand how you can know you're doing it and keep doing it. All I can do is shake my head and say "I don't understand," which probably just makes her feel worse.