I'm sorry, I'm sure it must be very lonely and painful.

Having sex too early or with the wrong person/people wouldn't be something to aspire to, & the good news is that you still have those first experiences of physical intimacy ahead of you and you can do it right rather than wasting or sullying them. You're wiser and more mature at this age, so you can make a better choice when the time comes. *hugs*

I know you don't want to be a virgin anymore, but sex without feeling is cheap and meaningless and likely wouldn't be what you'd hoped for or dreamt of in the least. And I have to tell you that there are certainly people out there who wouldn't have a problem with dating a virgin.