Sorry if this is a little off your post topic, but I think it will help.

We are close to 60, my husband and I. At present we have:

1. Friend dying of cancer
2. Friend dying of cancer (smoking)
3. Business associate needs a liver transplant
4. Friend dying of old age
5. Friend dying of ill health (massive ill health)
6. Business associate's father just died
7. Husband's sister just had her sister-in-law commit suicide
8. Husband's aunt just died of old age (she was 99)

This is all within the last month. The friend listed in 2. above continued to smoke, even though he had emphysema. The emphysema is still there, but now he has lung cancer and 35% lung capacity. It's unlikely he will live much longer. He's 63 and a friend of ours from high school.

I had a friend die of lung cancer at age 46, she was also a smoker. She chose the lowest dose of chemo, so she could get back to work faster (her words). She returned to work, then died within the year when the cancer returned.

People don't always take things seriously, it may be their way of coping. They're not thinking about you when they make their decisions, they're thinking about themselves. Although it may pain you to lose her, it's still about her. Her life, her choice, her death. Your acceptance. I can guarantee this: you will survive the pain of the loss.