A lot of young men want to explore, and they want to explore with someone they are physically attracted to. Women also have things they look for in men that they find attractive. Not every woman is attracted to body builders for example, I know I wasn't, I liked a man to look natural. Often when I went out with my friends, we each had different types we were attracted to.

It's important that when you develop your sense of women that you "do" learn about "them". You don't want to be a "selfish" sex partner do you? Men like that typically do best with women who get paid to service "them" and like to go to places where they can "pick" a woman that is "their type".
Or, women who are looking for a meal ticket don't "love" but perform sex acts and "act" because they are only looking to "marry well" or gain in some way.

You know, women talk about different men they have been with. They will say things like, don't bother he is all over before you even warm up. They also talk about the guys that are "selfish" sexually and aren't worth it. A woman can pick up on "he is just looking to do me" and they do not welcome these types of men as often these men "are" sexually selfish.

The reason I talked about "how" to engage women in my other post is a woman who is willing to do a favor for you because you are approaching her for help, is a woman who may be more open to thinking, "here is a guy that may not be a selfish partner".

My nephew dated a girl for a long time, they were also good friends and she helped him all through college. She had a nice figure but was on the plain side. He got to a point around your age where he wanted to experience other girls "sow wild oats" so to speak. He broke up with her and began seeing a lot of different girls and ofcourse having sex with them. Then one day he realized that while he was having a lot of sexual experiences with a lot of different attractive girls, there was only that and no interesting close conversations. He finally realized the true value of the girl he broke up with and noticed what he experienced with her was something none of these other girls provided. Well, he had to figure that out, the companionship/friendship and being able to explore with someone that is fun to explore with other then just sexually was missed and he realized "harder to find" then just having sex with a pretty girl.

It is "normal" to want to explore sexually and not be ready for a long committed relationship. And quite honestly, if you are on the selfish side, which is also normal at first, you are less likely to experience "more" than just the "mechanical/physical/self serving". True "intimacy" isn't all about "your" body, not when there is actually another physical presence. We are all designed to develop certain attractions when it comes to having a "desire for sex". Truth is, there is more in that attraction then we realize, as men do look for things in a woman that can produce a healthy child, even if that is not something you are thinking about right now. Women tend to do the same, only women need to look for more than "just" a physical attraction, it is the way they are designed too. Actually, a woman may stay with a man even if that man doesn't satisfy her sexually, if he has other qualities about him that show a devotion and longevity.

It isn't a bad thing that you are recognizing that what you have been doing has not been working out for you. It's doesn't have to mean you are doomed.
What it does mean is you are going to have to actually "learn" more.

My daughter was/is beautiful, and very intelligent and engaging, however, she grew to believe that she was not attractive because guys were not asking her out. It was not until later that many of these guys confessed that they had crushes on her but were afraid to approach her. Does she have a preference in what she is attracted to? Yes, and often she can actually be on the "shy" side when a guy she is attracted to is in her presence. So, you are not alone with hesitating.

Physical attraction is always "there" and to have others tell you that you are shallow for having it, well, it's normal, you will always have certain things that attract you, everyone is like that. My friends were attracted to guys I had no attraction for and visa versa. However, my friends did begin to see the "type" of guy I was attracted to.