Totally wiped out, self destructive-ish and unable to focus after therapy. Cannot remember how to do the trigger thingie.


Feeling so useless and weird and like a loser. I actually told T about something I call rage sex, and asked him if he had ever had rage sex. And he answered. Not sure which of those things is weirder. Keep wishing I would just die somehow in a way that would not look like my fault. This is all just useless and I don't think it will ever get better better. if that makes sense.