I understand this differently right now where I am. T used to be all cozy and extra miley with me and now I guess we've transistioned into 'normal therapy' but I still want the extra mile T that I had and it hurts when she tells me about the extra things she does for other clients. What state do I have to be in to get that back? I feel like if I'm okay she'll kick me out. If I'm not okay she'll keep me around but others need more than I do because I had that part of her already but I still want it. Can't tell her any of this because then I'd just be pushing her away and it'd be inappropriate. I don't know why I said all that or what it has to do with anything but I get it in a way :/