I met a guy on internet months ago, we were texting to each other everyday, met for few times, living in another cities and we are attracted to each other.
But he said at the beginning that its only friendship and free relationship (including sexual) and we will never be together. I enjoyed it but fell in love with him
I know we cant have serious relationships or if we had it would be really difficult, i doubt I even want it.
Im really jealous because I know he is not mine, he knows I have a crush on him and avoids from me because he thinks I want him to be my boyfriend but I never asked it, we misunderstand each other very often and he is not from my country so we dont speak in our languages which makes everything more difficult.
It seems I text him too often and making him feel like he is my boyfriend but I miss him. He doesnt want to meet me because he thinks that our relationships make me suffer. Yes, its true but I denied it saying Im having hard time and its not because of him.
I think he is afraid of me. I think he is exhausted of me. Im trying not to text him but if its for two days Im going insane, I cant do anything and cant sleep at all.
Im okay that he is not my boyfriend but Im dying how I want to see him and touch him again.
He says he is feeling depressed this time and dont want to talk to anyone. I can see he is not okay but he doesnt want to talk about it.
Im afraid to lose him, I know that my behavior ruins our relationship but Im losing my mind. At first it was only attraction but now I cant stop thinking about him and missing him.
I dont want to act like Im obsessed but I cant stop texting him. I want to go to his house but I wont because he doesnt want to see me now.
We are still friends but he is afraid that he is doing harm to me because I fell in love with him. He is very open and honest person and always tells me what he thinks.
Im okay with free relationship with him but it seems that my feelings disturb him