Quote:
Originally Posted by My kids are cool
As long as I am moping and not working anyway, I would like to do an informal couch poll. What makes each of you respond to a person in real life or on the forum with concern and compassion and an attempt to help? Sometimes I am totally flummoxed by who gets a huge response and who gets no response at all.
So, is it the person who is searching for ways out of where they are? Struggling for answers and open to help? Looking for ways to open a closed door in their life, or searching for a window to open? Searching for light in what seems like total darkness?
The person who keeps bashing their head against the same closed door over and over, while insisting the door is actually open? The person who keeps bashing their head against the same closed door over and over, insisting they have no choice except to continue bashing? OR who just says they are not actually bashing their head at all even though to all appearances they are?
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On the forum I usually respond to people I identify with, though I try to be careful that I am not over-identifying. If I have no idea what might help or if I am not in a communicative mood I'll just offer hugs.
I stay away from most threads on the main forum these days. More often than not I find myself getting frustrated. I accept that I'm just not in a place where I am capable of providing support in those cases.
In real life I keep people at a distance. Not good I know, but I'm working on it. I will help with concrete things like gas money and food, but it freaks me out to let people too close. I'm afraid they'll demand more of me than I have to give.