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Ever have those moments when you feel so alone, it's as if you are in a crowd of people but invisible? When you feel everyone is ignoring when the rational part of your brain knows it's not? That you have no friends, even if you have their numbers and talk to them? That they just laugh at you behind your back even though that are supposed to be your friends? Ever feel an emptiness or airiness in your gut even though I don't think that is a word? That you were a mistake? That you aren't meant to do the great things people seem to think you are here for because they have no clue what goes on in your mind because you don't tell them? No? I feel and think this plus more that I can't even think of what they are.
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There are so many things wrong with me, and sometimes I believe there is more than what is diagnosed. I fear never healing, being left alone to crawl this heartless, cruel world. I hate myself so much, and sometimes, as much as I hate them, all I really want is a heartfelt hug. Will I ever make it through this thing called life? Or will I drown in the darkest depths of the ocean? Only time can tell. As for now, I just hide and I fear. This is, and will always be my life. 
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