I know I hate people to trivialize what I have gone through......so I hope this doesn't sound that way. We all have things that happen in our lives, some more serious than others....some things we can handle alone, others need a lot of help to get through.

Sometimes we feel like we get to a good place then WHAM!!!!! What in the world hit AGAIN??

There will always be things that hit us in out lives. Somethings are much worse than anyone can even imagine. I have had experiences that everyone said, that couldn't be happening to you....things like that just don't happen. What the #$((, they were happening to me & they did happen. What I found is that after it is over, looking back, it's what we learn from the situation that is the most important. How we learn to handle similar things in the future (as if they will ever happen again) is the important part of the learning experiences we go through in life.

Sometimes things are going great....like you in school & running for President.....then something hits & we want to give up or at least give in to the difficulty. Sometimes it is good that we have the good things there to give us the strength to keep on not give in.

I know for me, my mare just had her foal & I was so excited. Then, she ended up really hurt & requiring all my attention at the same time my Mothers cancer was getting terminal & then that turned into a horrible ID theft & abuse to my Mother. How can everything hit at the same time & where do I find the energy to handle it all. We are always told that we are never given more than we can handle. I ended up very ill from all the stress & landed in the medical hospital. For some strange reason, I got the support I needed in the hospital just at the time my Mother died. What I realized looking back from the now.....is that even the bad things happen for the good....it's just that we don't recognize it at the time.

The trauma I went through left me with tome PTSD symptoms......I never would have understood what those feelings were if I hadn't experienced them myself....giving me a deeper understanding of myself & what others go through in traumas.

Our lives are learning experiences....both good & bad.....but if we are able to grow from them....we will end up better in the long run....it's just getting there that is difficult.

I agree with you about the men psychologists. I have always had better communication with men than women....don't know why, just is. I know that loosing your psychologist the way you did is horrible. That is no different than loosing the closest friend in the world....a person you have shared everything you possible can with. The transition is difficult & will take time....nothing you can push, so just let it happen as is goes. If you just start spilling everything....that's ok too.

Just remember the most important thing.....you didn't do anything wrong to make your life go this way......what is happening to you is just a part of what life is all about (I hate the way this sounds like trivializing) for all people. It isn't anything we do that causes it......the famous quote "%#@&#! HAPPENS". is very true.......& living through the rough experiences that are truely difficult.....give us an understanding that we wouldn't get any other way.

Hope you will feel better soon,
Debbie