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Originally Posted by Open Eyes
My daughter was/is beautiful, and very intelligent and engaging, however, she grew to believe that she was not attractive because guys were not asking her out. It was not until later that many of these guys confessed that they had crushes on her but were afraid to approach her. Does she have a preference in what she is attracted to? Yes, and often she can actually be on the "shy" side when a guy she is attracted to is in her presence. So, you are not alone with hesitating.
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Your daughter sounds like me pretty much. I spent my younger years feeling insecure and thinking I was ugly. I was a social outcast in high school and was taught to have a really low opinion of myself. But over the past few years I started noticing myself getting attention from girls, some of them being really conventionally attractive ones, and I have become more confident in my physical attractiveness. Now I want to enjoy the dating experiences I missed out on in college and people can't stand the thought of someone my age seeking casual non-committal relationships and dating 21 year old cuties. But I will not let them stand in my way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
Physical attraction is always "there" and to have others tell you that you are shallow for having it, well, it's normal, you will always have certain things that attract you, everyone is like that. My friends were attracted to guys I had no attraction for and visa versa. However, my friends did begin to see the "type" of guy I was attracted to.
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Problem is, it seems only men are shamed for being "shallow". Women can be as picky as they want about a guy's looks and if any guy complains he is labeled as a bitter misogynist. But if a guy wants women "out of his league" people start calling him a shallow douchebag. In fact, the whole "date people within your own bracket" sentiment is aimed ONLY at men, not women. Men are the ones who generally do the approaching, so women are not effected by such a thing. In fact, this makes it EASIER for women to "date up", because men who are stigmatized for pursuing women "out of their league" are more likely to pursue women below their "league".