Quote:
Originally Posted by Meow.
I don’t come on here too much. I usually am a bit of a ghost and I look around without logging in. I feel like I need to be heard right now though so I figured I’d try to post something here.
My therapist didn’t show to my appointment. She’s been late before, so I waited for an hour and then I gave up. I usually don’t let things like this get to me but I don’t know. She’s been a few minutes late, a half hour late, and once an hour late because there was a miscommunication with the time. And that was fine. But I haven’t heard from her at all.
It might have been different if I had at least heard from her, or if I wasn’t struggling as much. I had already wanted to push her away and then I wrote some things down for her that were hard for me to show her and I think that might have made it worse. Because I did that and she didn’t show.
There are a lot of possibilities as to why she didn’t show. Maybe she didn’t write the session down or was double booked or maybe there was some kind of emergency. But I don’t want to think like that because I do have a fear that something will happen to her and I won’t have her anymore. I’ve been seeing her for a few years and due to circumstances, she’s the safest person I have to talk to.
I know it has nothing to do with me and I’m trying not to be upset about it but it’s hard. I was thinking of emailing her if I don’t hear from her soon and asking to reschedule and seeing how that goes. If she knew we had a session and didn’t show I feel like she would have told me so I’m thinking maybe she forgot or something. But then again, because of why I see her, I see her often so I don’t know if she forgot.
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You are much more tolerant of her lateness than I could be. Therapy is a commitment by both parties.
Sounds like you intellectually think that her not showing has nothing to do with you (separateness and all that), but your 3rd paragraph suggests that there is a fear of it having to do with you. So understandable to have a worry like that, in an attempt to understand what is going on, and possibly an attempt to deal with being perturbed or disappointed or angry with someone who is important in your life.
I hope you hear from her soon and get relief from the wondering.
What if you talked to her about her how you feel about promptness and dependability, that it is meaningful and important to you. Ask her directly if she is able, going forward, to commit to the scheduled session times that she and you agree on when you make them. (barring unforeseeable situations)
Your time is very important. Your feelings are extremely important. Surely she must know that lack of keeping session times can undermine in many ways, and it can appear to be an abuse of/taking unfair advantage of the balance of power that is inherent in a therapy relationship.
