Quote:
Originally Posted by Melodysmooth
Random thought, do you guys think I should give my parents a call today?
I'm not too worried about my mom. I spoke to my mom two days ago, that was the day we got into an argument. But, my mom's the type where I can get in an argument and she'll call me back and act like nothing happen but still talk behind my back to my dad. My dad is the decision maker in the house.
My dad's a different story.. he's a little more prideful. It's not that he will argue with me if I call, but he will not call me until i call him.
Last time we spoke was a week ago from today, and we didn't exactly get into an argument but that was the day he told me he was planning on moving and I gave him my opinion with "are you sure that's what you want?". And he hasn't called me again after that. I know he's mad at me, should I call to see ask how he's doing, give him his space for a few more days, or wait until he calls me?
I'll read the article now, maybe that will help me since after all my dad is giving me the silent treatment :S
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NO you should not call, I don't think but let me say why. I hope you realize that all the years growing up you have a certain amount of dysfunction in yourself which will take a long time to break free from. That being said, right now, I believe your thoughts to call your dad is out of habitual thinking. You don't like him to be mad at you and quite possibly it has gone through your mind passively or actively that 'what if' he never calls. it is something, now this is a guess of course, that has been used against you many times in your upbringing. I am thinking you were and still are probably the one
expected to be the one to come to them. In arguments,
you probably are the one to apologize first and you tend to be the one to end up bearing the guilt of any and most conflicts. It is probably his intention, again whether actively or subconsciously to remain silent because he assumes that it will be YOU that initiates once again. This is part of the dynamic that you need to break free from.
Wait for him to call. Expect him to come to you and initiate again. It will be difficult, it will be grueling if I am correct on my assumptions above, not to fall into the old behaviors but it is, I contend, the
only way to start repairing things and moving everyone into a healthy dynamic.