my t explained that my, what seem to be overwhelming feelings of sadness, are actually flash backs of emotion. Similar to visual flash backs. I had never thought of my emotions in that way. I'd always felt that my emotions would overcome me and crush me. what she said helped me because i realized that the sadness and emotional pain was real but needed to be released because the reason for the emotional pain and sadness doesn't exist anymore. the physical threats are gone, the verbal abuse is gone, the insanity of my childhood is not happening now. so i can cry and cry and feel the sadness in my sole as my helpers free themselves of the burden of emotional pain I wanted a nice childhood, I wanted to be loved, to feel loved, to have friends, to have a safe home free of overwhelming violence. I wanted all this, I lament at times that I didn't have this, But there is no rhyme or reason. It's what I do with what I have that I will measure me.