My mom has been pretty cool about my not having children. Like Himali's mum, my other is very talented and creative, but the ethic of the time did not allow much room for a career.

In fact, she was less cool about my going to college. Thought I should get a job and contribute to the family income. It was a different world though. The women's movement of the 1970s. Now she is proud of my education.

It's good that you are sticking to your guns, Kimali, in the face of criticism. Having a child is too important a decision to be pressured into doing. It can be hard to speak back to parents. I am 56, and I am still polite and as respectful as I can be to my mother. But inwardly, if I were in your shoes, I would be seething and want to say -- You want grandchildren? If you want kids so much, become foster parents and stop bothering me. But of course, one really can't be that disrespectful to parents.