My Support Forums - View Single Post

jrae · Apr 07, 2016, 10:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by omegalamed

I would email them back stating the facts that you received their message and thank them for emailing you. i would also say that you were taken back by their inability to understand your MI disability that you are going through. I would say you are sorry you bothered her due to her not being able to comprehend what you are going through and that you won't bother her again in the future with it.
Then see how she responds... if she comes back apologizing fine, you still have a friend. This email will educate her unjudgingly that what she said was inappropriate. And if she gets it great. If not then that is the way she will continue to be. Are you just putting up with it for the ability to talk to a human being or are you willing to let it go and find new friends? That is growth and it takes effort but the rewards are great.
I am saying don't give up on people cause we all can say and do things reacting out like her... the above mentioned sent to her might give you the reply to understand just how she feels about things... and then you can go from there.. .tc (((hugs)))

thank you for your response and great insights.

I really don't know. I live in such a rural area that finding people is hard. and I'm not a very social person (plus this community has been quite hard on me in the past). and I don't have many friends - like maybe three to be exact. (and I say 'maybe' cuz I'm not sure about this person who emailed me the message in question)

my two friends live three hours from me, which makes it very hard to see them or get together and hang out or do anything together. and they are busy with their own lives, one just got a new job and is doing a lot of traveling for that and the other has a one year old kid and his wife really doesn't like me (long story). but they have known me for like thirteen years.

and this lady, she also lives three hours away and is super busy with her own life. as in like a bf, kids and grandkids, working, plus her other life activities. and we've really only known each other for a few years and not all that well, since the communication is not that often.

for all the other people I use to have has friends, when things fell apart for me years ago, it was easier for them to just not talk to me anymore and just move on with their lives and me to do the same.

and so 'human contact' is not really something that I crave, but it would be nice to have friends. but if those people don't understand what it is you deal with on a daily basis and their actions / words / behavior towards you is negative because of that, then it's probably better to not have that negative impact in your life. it's just sad cuz you think you find someone who may actually understand what the whole struggle with an MI is like, someone you could actually visit and maybe confide in for some help and supportiveness (maybe even do visits or activities with for moral boosting), and then it all blows up in your face, so to speak.

would I be okay with losing another friend? probably as I have gotten so use to it over the years. and I have trust issues, especially when it comes to confiding in people. once you lose that trust, odds are pretty high that you won't get it back. so even if we were to remain on speaking terms, I doubt I would ever confide in her again. sounds sad, I know.

friendships (or any relationship for that matter) are a two-way street. both sides have to put in the effort and be willing to put in the first step. if one side doesn't do that, how can the friendship last? in other words, if this lady doesn't say anything to me in a while (like taking the first step), does that show she's okay with letting things go, like it's just not worth her effort and time???