Quote:
Originally Posted by Shadix
I just don't know how to approach girls. I am really starting to believe this is something that can't be learned. I can just never think of what to say. I am not even good at thinking of things to say when I am with my friends, let alone when it is some random girl at the gym whom I have no reason to be talking to. Now I am 28 years old and I have never had any dating experience. But I still absolutely REFUSE to settle. There have been girls I have known who clearly liked me and I could have dated then, but I didn't because they weren't the ones I was interested in. I think I deserve better than to settle for someone I am not really into. I INSIST on dating the girls I really want or nobody at all. And why shouldn't I? This is what girls do.
So is it pretty much hopeless for me? Do guys like me only find a girlfriend by settling for whatever comes their way? Am I just not meant to pick and choose like other guys do?
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First off why should one settle for less? If you are not interested in someone what is the point in trying to date them? That would make me worry more than your current situation. Think about this, any subject or thing. Would you buy a car you didn't like, play a game you didn't enjoy or read a book that was uninteresting (aside from learning something from it) ? The same goes for mates, if not even more critically so. A pastime you can always just quit. A relationship or mate, you can't do so quite so easily. In essence I see no problem in your having a standard of what you like and sticking to it.
I am not one for dating for dating's sake. Dating a woman, for me, needs to be for a reason, I must be interested and want to be with her. There are many I have seen that are dating hoping that one of them is the right one but for me this is the wrong approach. It's just that the ONE that interests you has eluded you up to now.
Does that make you hopeless in finding her or someone that you like? I pose this question: ARE YOU DEAD YET? No, since you posted here, you can't be, I assume so yeah no all avenues, all hope and chances are not lost
There is no standard timeline for how long you should take to find the right girl for you and no reason to be in a hurry. The world, your world, your life or anything less will not end if you do not find the girl in x minutes, hours, years... etc.
Be patient, find your own way, enjoy your independence and learn about yourself more... the more you know, accept who you are the more prepared you will be when she finally comes along. No one should judge you for being 28 and single and if they do, that's their problem, not yours.