Quote:
Originally Posted by bohemiangirl85
I'm not even sure where to post this. Sorry in advance.
A woman who was a second mother to me passed away recently. I haven't seen her in years so when I found out it was a surprise. My question is should I attend the funeral?
I really don't want to go but my mom keeps guilt tripping me. My mother says " you don't want to go out and I can't keep making excuses for you", That I should go to "show my respect because she helped raised me".
I keep thinking why I don't want to go and if my reason of not going are selfish. I'm not sure what to do.
Thank you for taking the time to read my thread.
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outside of the statement saying that the woman was a "second mother" to you, to be honest, the method by which you speak in this forum asking whether you should attend the funeral begs the question as to how close you were to this woman actually.
Granted I am sure you respect her for helping raise you but the fact that 1. you are asking strangers on how you should handle this tells me that, you're expecting a standardized answer from the public. Which does not say that you really would be going out of your own motivation tbh but obligation.
Why do people attend funerals? For people attached to the loved ones that are gone, it is desiring to see them for the last time, and saying good byes. it's based on love and caring. For others, compelled by people to go, it's out of obligation, to make appearances, a statement, etc. After all the person who is gone won't even benefit at that point from your presence.
I would ask yourself why you would be going and examine the motivations behind them and consider why you have little motivation to go. This would be far more telling than a straight up answer from a large group of strangers on a forum.
I don't think whether you go or not, that either of the choices would be inherently wrong though. Please don't do it out of guilt though.